This week is my Grandfather's 90th Birthday. He has been gone for 11 years, but I believe he is still developing me into what I am supposed to be. His leadership, love, and work is connected to any success you might see in me. The connected roots of our family is something each of us has, yet often times we don't embrace or admit it's a driving influence in our lives.
The roots of my family are strong. Roots that love. Roots that work and play hard. Roots that helped to build and develop the complicated person I look in the mirror at everyday. I realize everyone's roots are different. Your roots don't define you, but they are a part of each of us. Knowing and understanding how you are are connected can help us develop the branch that is our life. I spent Memorial Day weekend with my family. As I breathed in the comfortable smells of my parents home, laughed and engaged with my siblings, and watched my children and nephews play childhood games together, I was reminded of my roots and this daunting thought: I don't only grow up, but am also growing down. I am my own person, but I am also a father, uncle, brother, son, and husband. Maybe now more than ever, I am planting my roots at the same time I am bearing fruit and leaves on my part of the tree. We are SO MUCH BIGGER than OURSELVES. We, through the mundane and the extraordinary of each day are laying the foundation for strength, confidence, and success for not only ourselves, but those who share the nourishment of our roots. Happy Birthday Grampy....thanks for helping shape me, nourish me, and develop me. You will continue to help me until I am unable to grow anymore. I can only hope the roots I am able to build now will help to bear fruit for generations to come. There have been 76 tomorrows that have passed since my last post. 76 times I said I would do it on the next day. The first few didn't bother me. Life gets in the way of things we WANT to do sometimes. As each day passed, the weight got a little heavier. My enemies should've, could've, and would've began to find their way into my language. I started to feel that tomorrow would never turn into today, and when it did, it might be too late.
Why couldn't I get it done? It was me getting in the way of me. How could I share positive thoughts, when I couldn't even find the light at the end of this long tunnel I found myself standing in? The tomorrow monster got in the way of engagement. I would just wait for tomorrow, when things were better and life slowed down enough for me to breathe and sit. Tomorrow isn't coming. Tomorrow is always waiting, but you will never see it. Tomorrow isn't real. What I realized is I need to ensure that tomorrow transforms into today. "I will do it tomorrow" doesn't set us up for success. Tomorrow needs to be what we CAN and WILL accomplish TODAY....if it isn't, we will perpetually wait for something that will never come, and the tomorrow monster will win again. I look forward to seeing you again soon, on the next TODAY we are together. May you overcome the tomorrow monster and find the TODAY you are looking for in your journey. My everyday work in education is some of the most rewarding work I could ask for. It is also the most frustrating work I could ask for as well. My frustration rarely is guided toward students, but instead the unrealistic and extrinsically motivated world we have set them up in. Students...highly motivated, mildly motivated, and even unmotivated....all measure their success on the evaluative tool called the GRADING RUBRIC. Every homework, quiz, test, exam are all pointed toward the requirements and the ABCDF of the GRADE. Even when the most creative teachers work to eliminate the GRADE and focus on authentic understanding, we are forced to live in that system.
I celebrate the opportunity to challenge their status quo and continually let them know I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE GRADE!!! There is NO rubric for your everyday work in the real world of life. There IS YOUR ability to decide what is successful, what is hard work, and what is giving your all. Parents, students, and yes, even the educational system, needs to engage in change and deemphasize work towards a false and ultimately meaningless and extrinsic reward. We need to begin using language that allows students to have the chance to value other things as well...dare I say MORE IMPORTANT THINGS! Quality, Understanding, Collaboration, Creativity, Interdisciplinary Learning, Interpersonal Relationships, Problem Solving, Discipline, Story, Growth, Engagement, Balance, Vision These words are more important to our life's work. Tasks, procedures, and information can be taught in the moment...that is why we send people to training. Success and work in education MUST STOP being defined by numbers and letters. Let's teach the future about learning for quality understanding through their own intrinsic motivation so that they stop using the rubric and researching how to GET an A. Let's all start wondering what QUALITY WORK deserves CELEBRATION and REWARD! How do YOU motivate your team? If you are like me, I wait for the opportunity to make a difference in my world. Much of the work we do leads us toward change. Often times that is a long and winding road, troubled by roadblocks, and laden with decisions that may or may not work out.
For all that the political landscape has brought this year, the one thing that is not at risk, is the opportunity and responsibility to wield your power in the voting booths across the country. With one push of a button, or engagement of a lever, you can be part of one of the most amazing processes. You have the chance to change your own world. It is your right, but more importantly it is your responsibility. There can be nothing that gets in the way. You have time. You have opinions. You HAVE TO! Today I am not interested in who you like or who you hate. I am solely focused on the idea that you will take this gift from democracy, tear the wrapping paper off, and smile as you take control to have a voice to change your world. Happy voting today and the rest of this political season!! America, no matter how much we change and disagree, can all work together to participate in what makes our freedom unique and great!! Keep calm, and vote on!! When engaging in activity, I find people referencing their experiences as one of two things: HARD or EASY. If we limit ourselves to only the things that fall naturally into our fiber, we don't ever have the chance to find out what we COULD be successful at. We also give up quicker as these terms are limiting and finite. Let's redefine these terms to COMFORTABLE and UNCOMFORTABLE. The change is in the mind and in our relentless pursuit for excellence.
If it is HARD, we don't allow ourselves to ever grow away from that thought. There is no way out of HARD...it just gets HARDER and HARDEST. UNCOMFORTABLE frames the challenge as something that is temporary and that can be overcome. What in life hasn't been UNCOMFORTABLE? Watching people slowly and successfully get out of the UNCOMFORTABLE feeling is one of my greatest joys as an educator. Sometimes it is fast, other times it is wretchedly slow, but with focus, work, and commitment, it WILL become more COMFORTABLE!! If it is EASY, we don't affirm that we had to do work to create it or have success in it. There is no internal value to our commitment to the task. It almost sounds like LUCK. If something is COMFORTABLE it means we have spent time and worked hard at it. We have worked hard to achieve the most common behavior....we just don't remember. I hear people say all the time that something comes EASY to them. It didn't at the beginning. It has been COMFORTABLE for so long that it seems like you have been doing it forever with ease. Need an example....how about walking, talking, eating. Next time you are with a baby or toddler, ask them how COMFORTABLE those things are (my son could prove to you that eating without a mess is not an achievable behavior for him...YET!) I hope you can change your vocabulary to give meaning to the things that are COMFORTABLE to you and to realize that you can move away from UNCOMFORTABLE with determination, desire, and plenty of time and energy! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! We will celebrate lots of different LOVES this weekend, in many different ways (I just cut out 42 paper hearts for my daughter's class...true love) so I thought we could LOVE Leadership too!!! So how do we L.O.V.E in Leadership?
LET OTHERS. Immature and ineffective leadership does not LET OTHERS do much of anything. Control, fear, and lack of an ability to share, all contribute to the micro manager, the non listener, and the party of one leadership style, that works in the short term, but over time will lose confidence, lose respect, and lose loyalty of those who work and follow. We MUST LET OTHERS breathe, speak, listen, critique, share, play, run, work, make mistakes, and most importantly LEAD!! Any organization creating a barrier for the young, the forgotten, the new, or the different will eventually find themselves at a crossroads of ineffective leadership. Value Empathy. We are HUMAN.....which means we make mistakes, we have bad days, we hurt ourselves and others, and we might even struggle in the workplace at times. We must take the opportunity to Value Empathy. The leader who ONLY puts value on the PRODUCT will never see the value of the PEOPLE who work tirelessly in front of them. The bottom line is only strong if it can support the people who stand on it. The product is still imagined, and engineered by a human who does need our care. The leaders who have the capability to listen, forgive, and give strength back to the people around them, will find they will do ANYTHING for them!! So remember to L.O.V.E Leadership this Valentine's (and every) Day! We should probably put it all together and Let Others Value Empathy sometimes too...because leaders are human, and WE will need someone to be there for us someday very soon!! We make mistakes. That is the nature of being human. We THINK we have to be perfect and often times expect ourselves to be perfect, but it isn't possible. Even the MOST perfect person you know, isn't perfect....they just correct more professionally than you. Those who correct professionally carry themselves three mentalities: Free to Fail, Confidence to Correct, Instinct of Improvisation.
When you are FREE TO FAIL, you have reshaped the way your mind sees the game. Too many people FEAR FAILURE. Those people hide it, they make excuses for it and fear drives them to create worse behaviors to cover their tracks. When you are FREE TO FAIL, you are prepared for the mistake, ready to accept it, and have the CONFIDENCE TO CORRECT. Failure is NOT EASY. It hits us hard, weighs us down, and often times can knock us off of our feet. CONFIDENCE TO CORRECT gives us the strength to get up, dust ourselves off, and try again. That confidence is something built up over time, through our own conviction, the strength of our team and accountability partners, and through the realization that failure can actually turn to success. The more confidence, the more apt you are to overcome the failure. Sometimes, you just have to IMPROV! That INSTINCT OF IMPROVISATION is one that has saved me MANY times in the face of failure. It is that ability to navigate to your destination AFTER you missed "your exit". Improvisation allows you to create a new path, one that will allow you to accept the failure and move forward. Improvisation often allows you to find a BETTER pathway toward your goal, and gives you a sense of freedom, newness, and joy that you might not have felt going the "old route". If you are FREE TO FAILURE and have the CONFIDENCE to CORRECT through the INSTINCT OF IMPROVISATION, you will find yourself correcting professionally, navigating the failure, and moving toward a new and improved success! Listening is hard. At work, at home, or at school, listening is one of the most difficult and demanding things we do. There are conversations taking place in the boardroom, at the water cooler, behind closed doors, in the lunchroom, or simple conversations between two people. Opinions, values, and perspective frame how we hear the conversations around us. Listening to the right things are important for success, but listening to the wrong things can take us down disastrous paths.
We have to CONTROL THE FILTER. Truth is, there is so much NOISE happening that we have to FOCUS our energy to ensure we LISTEN to the good stuff. We will HEAR everything, but we must CHOOSE what to LISTEN to. The athlete, on the field or the court, can't let the crowd, the competitor, or the atmosphere get in the way of completing the pass, shooting the ball, or running the course. They have to FOCUS their energy and stop listening to the distractions. The musician, on the marching band field, can't listen to what is happening 40 yards away or what is happening in front of them. They have to know where, what, and who to FOCUS their listening energy to be part of the successful team. The successful leader can't listen to the NOISE of the workplace. The negativity, the "I can't" or "I won't", the me agendas, the mutiny discussion, and the sloth mentality won't help you or your mission move in the direction you are working so hard to accomplish. If we LISTEN to the NOISE we will become part of it. Human nature loves the gossip, conflict, and emotion. Remember, we can't stop the NOISE. We can CONTROL THE FILTER so that you can CHOOSE to LISTEN to the things that matter. As you hear things this week, take the time to CONTROL THE FILTER, FOCUS your energy, and LISTEN to the people and conversations that will drive you towards success! I recently returned from a three day trip to the swamp in Orlando called DISNEY!! It was, as expected, amazing for my 5 year old daughter and her daddy, but for the forward thinking, ever wondering, hopeful visionary leader, I couldn't stop thinking about how successful and effective the "Disney Experience" was for me. So here are FIVE reasons Disney keeps winning again and again and again...
5. YOU CAN ESCAPE YOUR FEARS, DREADS, and HURTS Why is it we go on vacation anywhere?? We all need/want and desire a place to run away to, escape the reality of our work and the everyday struggles of life. Somehow, Disney removes those things and you breathe differently, your days are long, the lines move quickly, and even through the occasional tired moment, you still escape to a different, better, and exciting place. They make it easy. They make it enjoyable. They make it so fulfilling that you can't wait to go back. 4. THERE ARE NO EMPLOYEES...ONLY CAST MEMBERS Employees work. Cast members act, live, perform, entertain, and are ALWAYS on the stage. It is hard to find anyone employed there, who isn't 100%. EVERYONE said Happy Birthday to my princess from dressed characters, to photographers, to custodians, and even members on break. The commitment is truly remarkable. 3. THE DREAM LIVES Few places in this world are still driven by the dream of one man like current day Disney is driven by Walt's dream and vision. Reading more about Disney, hearing they way he talked about the place he would build and grow, his dynasty, his land, and his mouse. It is inspiring to know "If you can dream it, you can do it." 2. THE MOST IMPORTANT CUSTOMER IS 5 Yes. I know I paid the bill. I was not the customer. The five year old that held my hand was the customer, but so was the five year old who lives inside of me. The fountain of youth that happens when you walk through the gate, is unmatched anywhere. I ran just as fast as my daughter did to see my favorite characters, remember my times there, and create new memories that will hopefully carry to her children as well. 1. EVERYONE LOVES FIREWORKS It is by far my favorite part of the experience...when the park stops, and for 20 minutes (which seems like longer) the magic carries everyone away. Away from the crowd, the heat, the rain, the characters and the overpriced food. The fireworks are the equalizer in language, culture, age, and disposition. For those brief moments, tantrums stop, exhaustion takes a break, and we all celebrate whatever it is we dream. What if we created escape for people, allowed our jobs not be be work, believe in the dream, live and serve the child in all of us, and give something away that everyone loves and lets everyone dream?? I would work there, live there, go there, shop there...so let's try to be a little more like Disney and see what happens....maybe we can do what we dream! I don't know about you, but I am sad. I am not sure how much more I can handle when it comes to how extremism is tearing my world, our world, our children's world apart. The fear, hate, disgust, and anger seem to be prevalent on tongues. The removal of relationships and the judgement of friends and family seem to preoccupy minds. The space for love, understanding, and forgiveness is absent in our hearts.
I appreciate passion. Passion is needed, desired, and is what drives us to do in the world. Those who know me, know it is the one thing that I was made with that I know I can bring to the table and have been placed on this Earth to share. We are misusing it. We have the choice to use passion in anyway we want. The times I have let the fear and anger consume me, my passion is ugly, hurtful, and I have lost because of it. It seemed important and necessary at the time, but in hindsight, I lost something I cannot get back. The times when I have chosen loving and joyful passion are the times I planted a seed that continues to bear fruit. Hurt People...Hurt People. I know you are hurting. I know you are disgusted. I know you are fed up and want it to stop. I also know you have to share your voice and not sit silent. I too am hurt, disgusted, and fed up. I too have to make sure I do not sit silent, but LOVE HAS TO PREVAIL. We must share LOVE with our sisters and brothers whom we agree with, and our sisters and brothers whom we DON'T agree with. If you and I choose fear and hate, we are no better than those we struggle with. Fear and hate make our mirror image some distorted sense of self that ACTUALLY looks exactly like the thing we are fed up with, just in different clothes with different colors. If we look hard enough in that mirror, I KNOW you can see it...we are UGLY. We are just as UGLY as anything we are standing against. We have made what we believe in...UGLY. I care about YOU. I want nothing more in life than for you to stop hurting. I want to be your friend, value your thoughts, your ideas, and your hopes and dreams for this generation and the generations to come. I want to give you love so that you can start erasing the fear and anger and hurt. I NEED you to give me love, so I can start to erase the fear and anger and hurt. We MUST share our passions with each other, but we MUST start doing it through the lens of LOVE instead of through FEAR and HATE. Please. It is our choice. Look in the mirror and make sure the passion you ooze is one that can plant seeds to bear fruit for the future! |
Thanks for stopping by. These are musings on how I see leadership in the world and how I continue to try and grow through my lens.
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